If U Aint First Your Last.... Or Your Just In Second...

What A Day

Hopelessly Uneventful
Then I Take 5 (Count Em 5) bowl hits
and my whole life changes....

Im Chillin In The Car With My Ninja's
And They Bring Out The Doja...
I Only Smoke Socially... And When Its Free Lol (my cheap ass)
Luckily Its Both
But MAN... Did I Trip Balls...
I Saw Things.... Things I Dont Remember Happening.. But Deffinately Did
I Saw Myself in my room at 8 years old... wondering why i didnt fit in with the rest of the kids
Wondering why my parents didnt get me...
I Saw Myself at 14... Depressed
Border Line Suicidal...
With Nothing 2 My Name But 3 outfits
A Sony Walkman..
And A Copy Of Late Registration
And I Saw My Self At 17
In Love with A Person That Treated me Like Shit..
So Afraid Of Being Alone That I Would Let just About Anything Slide
Fuckin Pathetic.....

Then I Saw Myself Now.... 
A Million Times More Confident... 
Slightly Less Self Concious...
And, Almost Happy

I Have Come A LONG way....
But Not Long Enough...
U See... In My Moment Of Zin...
I Realized Who I Am As A Person
Ive Spent My Whole Life Trying My Best 2 Make Everybody Happy
Far 2 Great A Task For One Man 2 Take On
But I Shall Continue 2 Take Up This Task
Cuz its who i am

I Realized Im Kinda Like Cal Naughton Jr. From Taledega Nights...
Sure I Could Be A Dick And Run Shit Myself
But Life Just Feels Better 2 Me When Im Sling-shotting Ricky Bobby In For The Win....
SHAKE AND BAKE!!!

But Ive Also Realized That Tho i may be happiest helping Others...
I Need 2 Learn 2 be Happy Helping Myself....
The Kind Caring Denzel Needs NO replacing
He'll Still Be Here
But Kind Caring Denzel Is Working Towards Being Self Sufficient Denzel

I Have SOOOO much Shit I Wanna Accomplish In Life...
Maybe Ill Blog it All Out Sumday...
But I Know That As A Person
None Of That Shit Is Cooming 2 Fruition unless I Step My Own Life Game Up....
What Good Does It Do If I Help My Friend 2 Success.... And Help Myself 2 my Own Failure??

Which Brings Me 2 My Conclusion
Can I Have My Cake And Eat It 2????
Can I Be Selfless
And Selfish
At The Same Time???

Im Gonna Try...
Cuz Im 2 Nice A Guy..
2 Not Fulfill My Dreams

Posted by McLaren | at 9:50 PM

1 comments:

MARLEY said...

So true! I believe you will accomplish great things! You are a wonderful person, I think you should have the cake and revel in it! You deserve happiness more than anything. I pray that you find it. With all of my heart.

*MarleyMarl*

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